My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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