i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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