Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
