Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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