you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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