very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
