Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I wish they made helmets for livers.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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