It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
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Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
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