I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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