This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
