Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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