Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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