I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Randomize
