3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
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