I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
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the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
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I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
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