I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
