After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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