Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
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