that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
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