Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
