you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Operation Purity has been aborted
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
