tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize