he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
