is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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