i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
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