I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
my god I love twenty year old dicks
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
