If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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