i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
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Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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