Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
