So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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