Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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