I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
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