My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Randomize