On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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