I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
