haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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