Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
