i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
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