everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
