sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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