Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
