Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
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