Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
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