My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
