remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
zippers are such a cool invention
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
