You surviving the open bar?
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Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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