Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
