My brain says no but my pants say off.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
