You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
