Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize