The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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