I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
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