I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
