my phone needs a breathalizer
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Randomize
