I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
