I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
