Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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