I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
