i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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