You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
