How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
