I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
