We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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