Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
