How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
