I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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