Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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